Top Ten Worst Things to Do in Miami

A free-for-all of unregulated opinions, reviews on TripAdvisor, Google, and Facebook can be a source of great information… or whatever it is that these people wrote.

Every week I’ll be helping you steer clear of the worst things to do in your favorite destinations, thanks to the incredible insight gleaned from travelers before you. You can trust the information here, it’s from the internet.

*Some places are mentioned more than once because of how awful they are.

(You can find the full list of worst places by following this link).

Welcome to the worst things to do in Miami.

#10. Zoo Miami

Rot in hell, zoo patrons! 1 star.

#9. Miami Marlins Park

Big fan of the Marlins showing support for his team. 1 star.

Home games: things to do in miami. Away games: things to do in another city!

(Don’t want to trust TripAdvisor? Trust the best tour guide in town)

#8. Gesu Catholic Church

Yoga: work of the devil. 2 stars.

Why would somebody review a church as far as things to do in Miami goes?

(This isn’t the first negative review of a church, either)

#7. Miami Children’s Museum

At least they have great French toilets? 2 stars.

#6. Bayside Marketplace

REALLY want to know how they smelled the crack. 1 star.

#5. Little Havana

NO idea what other country Little Havana could possibly feel like. None. 1 star.

(Want to really know what the best things to do in Miami are? Ask the locals.)

#4. Monkey Jungle Miami

Imagine being confused that a place with the word “jungle” in it’s name would be… a jungle. 1 star.

#3. Vizcaya Museum and Garden

There are *gasp* lizards in South Florida! At a garden no less. 1 star.

#2. Little Havana

Little Havana: Feels like real Havana. (Isn’t that the point?) 1 star.

As far as things to do in Miami goes, this one usually ranks high.

And the WORST thing to do in Miami is… Wynwood Walls

It’s just a bunch of painted walls. 2 stars.

The internet is a wild place.

Do you need to warn others about the worst things to do in your area? Send your submissions to thelivelost@gmail.com

2 thoughts on “Top Ten Worst Things to Do in Miami

  • Reply Tara Thompson at

    These are so good, keep them up!!

  • Reply Charlotte, Vizcaya Museum and Gardens at

    At first I was concerned we were on the list; then I read it. Hilarious! I remember the lizard comment when it was made . The Little Havana ones and the Wynwood Walls – GOLD!

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